Sunday, February 24, 2008
♥ 6:13 PM
HELLO!:D
shouldn't be here now, really.
cause i missed golf to study/do work.
shouldn't have missed golf, cause dad pays for it.
but, i couldn't miss passion play either right?
i mean, look at how bad we are:/
feel like i'm not doing enough.
but i really really cannot offer more time. want me to pull time out of a box?
how about wish for time at 1111?
sadly, none of that works.
y'know what. i srsly shouldn't be in the passion play comm.
i can't say no to anyone. i'm sorry, but its me.
i mean, being humans we gotta sympathise right?
i dont know lah. i just feel that if you dont wanna come, and we force you down, then its really pointless. i dont know i dont know. we're screwing up majorly.
can't let this happen. i can screw cross or school but can't screw church stuff.
we're supposed to this for GOD. for the KIDS. for people who need it. not for ourselves.
but i can't screw anything else. cause my mum would just me.
guess it'd be much easier if i were in ijtp. but, this is cool :D
my life's more eventful k! learn more stuff!
i'll be more on top of things.
i promise.
cause they say that when God gives you something, he means you can cope with it.
guess God thinks i can cope with lotsa things.
can't let him down, can we?
really don't like having passionplay be a major friggin' screw up.
but by rehearsal, jaime's already half dead. and seeing some people just nauseates me.
you know the drill. i'm trying, i'm trying! but, i've never been this pushed away before.
its just no fair. still feel not good enough, after so long.
you can tell me what you like. that there'll always be someone. and oh love exists.
but do you honestly think i'll believe you anm? after all that, i just wanna dig a hole in the ground and forget about love, forget about all these. just throw them away and never let them come back. humans never learn, they say. i'm trying to learn. lets reverse convention.
i really must learn not to hold grudges.
but, it sucked so bad okay. i'll say it straight.
having your heartbroken by someone who you thought was heartbroken and made you think that magic happens. and then later seeing the assh with a ring on his finger.
haha, you'd think i'd feel great, won't you?
ever felt like you weren't good enough?
like you were overtook by a
tortoise.that's it man. that's it. feels like crap.
okay. whatevs.
the main point of this post is that.
if you're involved in passion play right.
i'd appreciate it if y'all helped out more, did more, came more.
i know some people can't come/ don't wanna come and all.
i really don't mind. cause sometimes we don't wanna come either.
but what i'm saying is that, i just want it to work.
now will y'all just cooperate and make something work?
its not for any of us, you know? God above's watching.
training, school, church, golf. and it starts over.
its a vicious cycle. you stop working, you start failing.
so therefore, you can't stop working.
but if you don't you'll start failing.
your body'll start failing. you'll just sleep.
now. tell me what i'm gonna do.
gotta work. gotta train. gotta try. gotta gotta gotta.
guess i see why all this ended before school started.
can you imagine me trying to juggle my handphone and my work.
dont think so. think i'd just break down and die. lie down and die.
evaporate my spirit over a bunsen burner and filtrate my heart away.
whoooooosh. isn't that what would happen if it didn't end?
okay now. hush jaime. it was for your own good.
now, stop complaining. and stop saying that he's gonna fail.
cause he won't. and she won't care if her shorts are too short.
so stop wasting your time. thanks.
been pretty outright lately.
but you'll don't mind, right?
betcha love it. cause now you'd know what i'm always beating around the bush about.
lalalalalala. its been a long while. and its not over. can't stand it. during chem tmrw, maybe i'll try to distil away the negative thoughts. maybe that'd work.
okay. gotta chem. gotta geog. gotta math.
gotta goooooooo! :D
there's nothing you can do, nothing you can say.i know how it feels when love goes away.after so long. i still don't know why oh why i believed this whole thing.
don't know why. don't know what's wrong with me.
something's i wish i could do all over again.guess sometimes a pretentious facade just gets the better of you.
lalalala. friends, don't give up. yeah?
keep smiling, keep trying!
its not just one chance, its many chances!
"you can't change the past, cause its gone. you just gotta move on."jaime.
(sometimes its harder to accept than it seems)
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
