Friday, February 29, 2008
♥ 10:47 PM
LEAP YEAR!zomg!i'm so happy today okay!
i'm so excited about pahang now!
do you know how much fun we'll have?
and there ain't no more school for the next week!
i'm so loving the sensation of worklessness.
and guess what. i think i'm over the whole thing, officially.
okay, so i still can't stand short short short shorts/skirts. but that's indecency.
different thing! shorter than your fbt tan is nuts lah!
uniforms are okay! :D we need to be different once in awhile! heh!
i'm super happy.
repeat: SUPER happy.
i don't care already lah.
i'm just a well-behaved child.
who ain't gonna make no more stupid choices.
i love life and won't kill myself. ever.'
but its not like i'll prevent death to the extent that i'm obsessed with life.
no! if i'm to die, then just die lah! we'll go to heaven and smile down!
ain't that fab?
LALALALALALALALALA!
tell me how great this is okay!
no more disappointments, no more letdowns.
i don't care, i dont care!
change for the better. we'll keep changing.
grow, bloom and fantasize!
i dream of a happy ending, i know y'all do too!
dreams in which prince charming comes over with his whole book of memorised cheesy pickup lines that he's memorised genuinely, cause he thinks its cool. and that he really loves you.
(queue: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!)
haha! yeah right! dream on! that's one thing i just can't see being true to our world!
but i'm still smiling!
friends!guess i won't stay away anymore.
thank you god!
i'm so glad this whole thing is over.
and i'm so glad i'm not starting anything.
no more distractions, no more facades [haha vanessa, fa-car-deys!]
yessss. i am a good girl!
night folggies! (:
"in this life"jaime!(:
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
♥ 11:50 PM
RFEQWEOQQWDOAASFDKS!wahhhhh! si le la!
dont know whats wrong with me lah.
DIEDIEDIE.
hazard alert okay! cannot tell me anything anymore.
later i tell away. gotta stop this, here and now.
wahlalalalalala.
sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry!
cannot cannot do this anymore.
dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
supersupersupersupersorry!
dont know what's wrong with me.
one secret, two secret. FLY AWAY.
jaime tan. i'm seriously gonna kill you soon!
~okay, back to sandai!
"D. I. E!"jaime :/
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Monday, February 25, 2008
♥ 11:51 PM
LALALALALA.
its a good day!
despite the probable failures of all the tests i've taken.
goodluck to me jaimeeeeeeee!
our God lives. :D
and that's all that matters.
right after then, i refused your friendship.i'll give you a hug, and i'll tell you its over.
i'm leaving all that behind.
and pretending it never happened.
goodbye heartbreaks!
Word(s) of the day: FAITH&BELIEVE! :D
"i can't impose"jaime.
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Sunday, February 24, 2008
♥ 6:13 PM
HELLO!:D
shouldn't be here now, really.
cause i missed golf to study/do work.
shouldn't have missed golf, cause dad pays for it.
but, i couldn't miss passion play either right?
i mean, look at how bad we are:/
feel like i'm not doing enough.
but i really really cannot offer more time. want me to pull time out of a box?
how about wish for time at 1111?
sadly, none of that works.
y'know what. i srsly shouldn't be in the passion play comm.
i can't say no to anyone. i'm sorry, but its me.
i mean, being humans we gotta sympathise right?
i dont know lah. i just feel that if you dont wanna come, and we force you down, then its really pointless. i dont know i dont know. we're screwing up majorly.
can't let this happen. i can screw cross or school but can't screw church stuff.
we're supposed to this for GOD. for the KIDS. for people who need it. not for ourselves.
but i can't screw anything else. cause my mum would just me.
guess it'd be much easier if i were in ijtp. but, this is cool :D
my life's more eventful k! learn more stuff!
i'll be more on top of things.
i promise.
cause they say that when God gives you something, he means you can cope with it.
guess God thinks i can cope with lotsa things.
can't let him down, can we?
really don't like having passionplay be a major friggin' screw up.
but by rehearsal, jaime's already half dead. and seeing some people just nauseates me.
you know the drill. i'm trying, i'm trying! but, i've never been this pushed away before.
its just no fair. still feel not good enough, after so long.
you can tell me what you like. that there'll always be someone. and oh love exists.
but do you honestly think i'll believe you anm? after all that, i just wanna dig a hole in the ground and forget about love, forget about all these. just throw them away and never let them come back. humans never learn, they say. i'm trying to learn. lets reverse convention.
i really must learn not to hold grudges.
but, it sucked so bad okay. i'll say it straight.
having your heartbroken by someone who you thought was heartbroken and made you think that magic happens. and then later seeing the assh with a ring on his finger.
haha, you'd think i'd feel great, won't you?
ever felt like you weren't good enough?
like you were overtook by a
tortoise.that's it man. that's it. feels like crap.
okay. whatevs.
the main point of this post is that.
if you're involved in passion play right.
i'd appreciate it if y'all helped out more, did more, came more.
i know some people can't come/ don't wanna come and all.
i really don't mind. cause sometimes we don't wanna come either.
but what i'm saying is that, i just want it to work.
now will y'all just cooperate and make something work?
its not for any of us, you know? God above's watching.
training, school, church, golf. and it starts over.
its a vicious cycle. you stop working, you start failing.
so therefore, you can't stop working.
but if you don't you'll start failing.
your body'll start failing. you'll just sleep.
now. tell me what i'm gonna do.
gotta work. gotta train. gotta try. gotta gotta gotta.
guess i see why all this ended before school started.
can you imagine me trying to juggle my handphone and my work.
dont think so. think i'd just break down and die. lie down and die.
evaporate my spirit over a bunsen burner and filtrate my heart away.
whoooooosh. isn't that what would happen if it didn't end?
okay now. hush jaime. it was for your own good.
now, stop complaining. and stop saying that he's gonna fail.
cause he won't. and she won't care if her shorts are too short.
so stop wasting your time. thanks.
been pretty outright lately.
but you'll don't mind, right?
betcha love it. cause now you'd know what i'm always beating around the bush about.
lalalalalala. its been a long while. and its not over. can't stand it. during chem tmrw, maybe i'll try to distil away the negative thoughts. maybe that'd work.
okay. gotta chem. gotta geog. gotta math.
gotta goooooooo! :D
there's nothing you can do, nothing you can say.i know how it feels when love goes away.after so long. i still don't know why oh why i believed this whole thing.
don't know why. don't know what's wrong with me.
something's i wish i could do all over again.guess sometimes a pretentious facade just gets the better of you.
lalalala. friends, don't give up. yeah?
keep smiling, keep trying!
its not just one chance, its many chances!
"you can't change the past, cause its gone. you just gotta move on."jaime.
(sometimes its harder to accept than it seems)
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Friday, February 22, 2008
♥ 11:02 PM
ZOMG!
didn't know one week of school could take up so much energy.
really feel like i can drop dead now, and wake up on monday morning.
but obviously, that isn't an option, considering:
a) the various studying:/ stuff
b) the homework that BRILLIANT jaime has left incomplete
c) the vast multitude of commitments that needs me to commit to and;
d) the serious lack of time.
oh wells.
i'm soo tired that i'm just gonna drop dead onto my bed in- soon and just wake up tmrw morning to get my stuff done.
no, i'm not lazy, its just that i'm super super super tired okay!
guess time really doesn't wait for no man(or girl).
everything's flying by.
been happy this week. (One two three: YAY! :D)
there are somethings which, really suck suck suck lah.
and it doesn't feel right anymore, cause like the importance is lost.
just cause of situations and stuff. but, i don't really care anymore, i guess.
what's important is that there are still supporters and you're there if they need you.
(which in this case, is highly unlikely.)
humans can't focus, they just keep moving on. thinking something's always better.
our mistakes. oh humph!
having said all that,
i'm love love loving my life though!
trying to cope and cope well.
guess its real tough, but we'll get through!
we can do this!:D
jiayou!
don't give up alright?
we'll be the best, always.
ohyeah,
thanks friends for the chance :D
guess God gives you what you can cope with.
hope i can cope. i'll do my best for y'all.
i'll be a better (person) friend.
jaime's gotta stop being paranoid over:-
basketball, shortskirts(eewwww!), uhhh shorts, wasabi, pandas, birds, bimboticness(the 08v13 stuff is perfectly fine!), relationships, asshs, hearts,past experiences(it'll affect LA okay! iser's indeterminate text!), etc.
guess you should know where i'm heading. i'm trying okay! i haven't stabbed a knife in anyone yet right? okay violent tendencies.
"mei yi tian dou kai xin shi wo gei zi ji de yue ding"(being happy everyday is a goal/agreement for myself)jaime! (:
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Saturday, February 16, 2008
♥ 7:24 PM
i resolve to
train harder and give my heart.
gotta concentrate, and never give up.
study hard, train hard.
be responsible and just look that way.
can't make myself go nuts again.
i've got things to do and things to see.
cross country was good
CAUSE THERE WAS NO LESSONS.
it rocks to have no training. to actually go out.
i mean, we do nothing but study and run.
loved yesterday. funx3!
cross country was okay.
betcha didn't feel tired.
it was less tiring than training's 3.3, i hope.
could've pushed harder, could've run faster.
but i guess its enough. don't know what i can do.
just gotta slowly make my way there.
come on, its not very long to nats.
wanna fly high, wanna do what's intended.
offer it up to God above.
give him your heart's desire.
guess its back to boring old school, monday.
guess its back to tiring tough training, monday.
guess its time to hit the books and back to the tire of school, monday.
no more veedays or xcdays or anything anymore.
its serious time, jaime!
gonna meet the targets set.
gonna do my best.
come on come on.
tryyyyyyyyyyyy!
gotta forgive.
gotta help.
gotta try.
gotta
fly.and every night, we'll pray for the world to change.
to wake up and see something different.
but everyday we wait,
and hope that someday, it'll come.
PALS(including but no restricted to, vivian!)
we gotta be happy okay!
its okay okay okay.
hard times gonna come and knock you down.
but all you gotta do is pick yourself and keep running.
what's behind you is behind you, just keep it up.
look forward and over take!
you've gotta be happier and give it all !
come on come on come on!
stop letting your heart bleed,
and mend it, heal it and SMILE.(:
lalalala. rubbish jaime, stop it!
jaime's one day buffet was a spur of a moment thing.
thank god!"break a heart, spoil a life(temporarily)."jaime.
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Thursday, February 14, 2008
♥ 10:01 PM
/editHAPPY VALENTINES EVERYONE!(:its been my FIRST valentines in a mixed school.
and i tell you, the girls are sweeter here than in all girls.
wouldn't expect that right?
i mean most of my presents are from girls.
(all i think, i think?)
it was lotsa fun. didn't really feel so serious.
was reallllll funn. kinda shows how much we love our friends.
isn't it? i like valentines, sounds nicer than friendship.
wish we could do this, EVERYDAY. can you imagine.
we'd be so much HAPPIER. y'know?
i mean, why can't we just GIVE.
oh wells.
THANKS FRIENDS
for all the pressiesss!
love them lotsssssssssss!
i'm kinda amazed. very amazed.
i'll say it again, as i've said it tonnes a times before;
the jaime of last year, would be really happy if she saw this year.
i kinda wish, vee day was every 14th!
i'd give presents every month!
i.loveletters, okay! that's why i love angelmortal. (:
idk, feel more like a teenager than ever before.
nono, its not the raging emotions or the flowers or anything.
its just the way i feel. but i guess, this is lifeee. :D
i'm pretty confused now, but this is how it works.
nono, don't read into it. its just cross and stuff.
PERSONAL stuff, kay! lalalalalalalalalalala.
i'm not going back there. i'm flying towards sucess!
cross tmrw!
hopetoFLY, finally.
i really really wanna do well, k!
i miss excelling like the way i used to.
don't think i wanna know what's gonna happen.
don't think i'm ready to face my future.
just gonna keep living it up, and hoping that nothing happens.
i like the way it feels when it fuzzes up, but mentally, i know i know.
ain't right, yozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! can't train that hard, can't try too hard either!
its been a quick week.
starting with a good (school time) monday.
and a worry wart tuesday.
smiley? wednesday
HAPPY!HAPPY! thursday
and God knows what brings friday.
yes, i'm skipping CL. but its STJTS.
i wanna keep moving on.
i love fun. i love trying.
no matter how hard it takes.
gonna run fast, gonna push hard.
make sure those LOVELETTERS and PINEAPPLETARTS don't get in the way.
FRIENDSHIPDAY&VALENTINES
has been a blast!
i love all you friends who've made it nice.
wellofcourse, YOU(still)don't make it there.
but its been goood enough.:DDDDDDDDDD
friendsfriendsfriends,
help me push.
help me STOP slacking/being stupid.
THANKYOU.
love y'all.
"let us say we have curves" -Mrlam!jaime.
wants a reply
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Sunday, February 10, 2008
♥ 9:57 PM
Everybody's down and out.
As a friend, I don't like seeing this.
You know sometimes how cancer patients' are just not receptive to medication anymore?
That's how it seems to be okay. Everyone's going down the drains, cutting themselves and refusing to be bandaged.
Yeah boy, its hard, i'll give you that. Its damn fricking hard. But its easier, if you willingly try, its easier. You gotta admit, but you gotta agree to change.
No, I may never know. But I know how it feels like to feel down and out. Out of everything, I know how much it sucks when you feel like you wanna get back in and go back then, where everything was the way you thought it should be. But you can't. No such thing. No time machine. Just you and the future. I guess it hurts like hell, feels like shit. But, we just gotta move on.
And that's life for you.
There's nothing too big for us, nothing too hard. We're all God's children, do you not think he won't help you? Its your individual problems, but it adds to the rest of the world's grim sadness.
Come on, its not that bad. Okay, you probably feel like I'm buffering everything. But I'm not. What if something better's just in your next step? You'd never know if you don't try.
I don't know how to help anymore. I use to think I had all the answers, but I guess people change and things change.
Cheer up, its nothing much. Its probably a major understatement. But, just try. (:
You're stronger than you think.
Any moment, anything can change.
Look forward to that change.
"I hope its just phase 2"jaime.
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Saturday, February 09, 2008
♥ 9:44 PM
Take a photograph,
Momma said, 'its built to last'.
Is it possible?
Wish I could press rewind,
You know you gotta let this go.
Time to go, this is goodbye.
But change is never easy enough.
Maybe its best you leave me alone.
I'm blending in so you won't even know me.
You're faking a smile, watching it all fall apart.
I don't wanna miss you tonight.
I shouldn't love you.
But I can't stop loving you.
In a moment, everything will change.
Flames to dust, lovers to friends.
When will this end?
You say, anyday it'll all be over.
But waiting is the hardest thing to take.
Maybe you thought it was all pretend.
You'll never know what it could have been.
I don't wanna do this anymore,
So long and good night.
i didn't get that, did you?
"Tell me what do you do when it all falls apart?"
jaime.
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Friday, February 08, 2008
♥ 5:58 PM
HAPPY CNY EVERYBODY!wishing you lots of worth remembering memories in the new (chinese) year!Lalalala. BYEBYE ZUOWEN!Hello another zuowen, edgar allan poe and ih report!
ohoh. and quadratic graphs and ummm la handout!
ARGHHHHH. what holiday!
at least we wake up laterrr! (:
spent the whole day slacking today (whoops!)
could have finished ALL my homework. but, ayee, lazy lah.
i'm happy. are you?:D
hearts mended, things sorted out.
at least without school they're out of the way.
but one must reminiscence the wonderful memories of a hopeful. no?
have you hoped for something before?
in the realm of hope, everything's possible.
mother nature takes away hope.
i mean the natural disasters and all.
where is the hope?
oh wellsssssss.
at least i'm more positive.
no more negative, defeatist attitude !
time to train hard and time to shine.
we're gonna gogogo!
study harder, we're all gonna be pediatritians.
and you're not! cause you're gonna be too busy serving tea.
hahahahahaha. lousy lousy lousy lousy.
yeah, i'm over. its just that, i just like saying it.
OHSHUCKS. lent.
i'm supposed to. yeah.
haha. i guess its over, and its done.
i did this on my own. i miss ijtp so much, okay!
(no the lousy thing doesn't refer to ijtp, duh!)
okay okay. okay okay.
i guess, once bitten twice shy.
we're all afraid of something.
and maybe i'm just afraid of things repeating.
maybe. if you can avoid it, why not, right?
but that's just me. and its just once.
i shouldn't be afraid to try. that's what i said.
actions speak louder than words.but i can't think about it even.
things broken are hard to mend.i don't wanna mend again.
no thank you. i like being healed.
no more breaking and healing.
stupid time wasting. thank you.
don't know why training's been so mentally exhausting.
don't know why i keep giving up.
all the things that break you, make you strong.become stronger, push harder!
please don't give up, m'dear jaime.
this means so much to you, that you gave up ijtp!
you can't give up, okay!
cross, studies, chances.
that's what you wanted, and that's what you get.
try harder. come on, you can do it.
humanities, sciences, timetrials, long runs.
this comp and that comm. you can do this!
you want to be extraordinary! you wanna fly!
now, tell me why.
now, tell me why not.
do your best and just tryyy, okay!
i know you're demoralised by annoyances.
but its not the only thing that's gonna be around.
success is on the way, if only you look.
come on, don't look back!
meng zai shou li, right?
Hey you.
don't feel sad.
its okay. it'll be over soon.
other things will come.
if not, you can just join me at the nunnery.(:
"you're knee deep in (the peril of) love"jaime. (:
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Monday, February 04, 2008
♥ 10:57 PM
nothing much has happened in the pass week or so.
lalalalalalala.
you know i'm unhappy with certain things, which only like a higher authority can change
no, its not the same thing i've been unhappy about for years, its more like my ecosystem?
its damn hard to concentrate and its even worse when you have that half the amount of working space concept. sucks mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!
yupp, but its okay! there's other things worth looking forward to.
LIKE THE FACT THAT TMRW'S PROBABLY THE LAST STUDYING DAY FOR THE WEEK!
yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!
tomorrow's ash tuesday palzzz!
must fast/abstain. i'll be a good catholic, yes i will!
my lenten sacrifices begin, tmrw!
JIAYOU!:D:D:D
there's nothing much going on.
i'm generally a happier person, except for my terrible ecosystem conditions.
parasites, yoooo!
i mean, okay that's mean.
its just that. ahh, it doesn't make sense.
how do you cope with 2 undesirables!
anyhows, i'm gonna need to do my geog + chinese + chinese soon.
i'm so
dead alive. charissa says that word is
bu ji li.we the cheena people of v13, pledge ourselves to an a1 for HCL, regardless of schools, languages and religions. so as to achieve better results and a super better reputation :D
okayy, i'm crapping.
time to go(
this is goodbye she said){no, this is a song}
i need to sleep. yes i do.
before i die standing.
yes i do.
OH SHUCKS LIT.
neverminds, bus time :D
anyhows, God, i think i'm ready.
i can accept it, now. let me see it.
I miss ijtp lots.
everything that makes life what it used to be.
but i guess the only thing that's not seems to be the ecosystem.
nevermind, i can cope. its not the environment, its how you take it.
positive attitude, darlings!:D
oh yeah,
and i don't believe in (romantic) love.
its an utter waste of time and waste of money.
oh and flutter of hearts. break them, eat them, never cease to hurt them.
my personal (and rather random) opinion.
"give me one good reason"jaime! :D
&when will you take me away on a balloon?