Sunday, January 27, 2008
♥ 10:37 PM
i am proud to announce that, i've
finally got on the journey to stop being sad/hateful.
YAY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! :D
i'm reaching there, almost!
and i'm even prouder to announce that i'm gonna train HARDER tmrw!
and i'm the most proud to announde that i didn't suan
her, and be mean, AT ALL :D
So, everybody, jaimerocks. com! :D
so, this positive attitude thing (which i always had, mind you), is coming back.
cause the person that made it disappear, is being haha, i dont know what word to use.
yupp. and anyhowwwwwww, jaime's slacking.
should be sleeping now. but. i felt like blogging.
wenolife.com rocks! we're gonna nolife it out!
go jaime. org! support her today!
i love websites. i know you love them too!
whoooooosh. okay, friends. i'm a good girl.
no more being late on purpose.
and def. no more BAD attitude.
yesssss. okay.
sleepy time. there's IMPORTANT training tmrw!
"i'm (still still still) not gonna get married"jaime.
live with it :D
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Saturday, January 26, 2008
♥ 11:48 PM
actually,
was thinking of finding somewhere new to migrate to.
but, i can't find anywhere proper.
so, i'm stuck with diaryoftheapples.bgspt for now :D
friday ended the (school) week sadly.
i mean, it was the perfect week till friday(evening)
i wouldn't say i didn't expect it.
if you know what i mean, then you'll know how i feel.
if you don't. then. haha. you don't need to know.
i realise this is affecting me way more than it really should.
seriously. i mean, how hard is it to finish a freaking 16km.
its not like i don't want to whattt.
all the lies we believed. all the lies i put my hope in.
i mean, man. this really sucks lah.
its so long already, and my stupid self is being stupid, still.
jaime ah jaime. come onnnnnn.
if you take it away from her, what will she have left?
you have everything already. are you really so selfish?
ask yourself. do you really need everything?
no, you don't. its not like you have the time anyway.
you're afraid, you're hurt.
you don't wanna admit it, but you know it.
its okay. it'll heal.
and when it does, you'll shine brighter than the sun.
jaimetan, you know yourself better than anyone.
and you know what you need the most.
YOUGOTTABEYOURBEST, UNDERSTAND?
who cares if you once thought you had it all?
you need to know that you can shine it out.
be a messenger, be the one God wants you to be.
you're a teddy bear. feelings are what you care about.
you need to care. that's who you are. stop hating, start loving.
put the past behind. i know in two days, you'll probably forget this.
but i want you to remember that you're the one who cares.
the one who knows that its okay to get hurt for someone else.
now, keep this in mind and never forget it. alright?
your goal here and now, is to concentrate.
help your friends, study hard, run your soul to the max, love your families and be the person that God made you to be.
mend hearts, make smiles. give hope.
that's you jaime, that's you.
seeyourself, beyourself.
that's all i have for you today.
now be the star, shine for the world to see.
"God protects,"jaime.
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
♥ 10:00 PM
I shouldn't have slept in the afternoon.
Now, tonight no need to sleep already. :/
39 chengyus more.
3 more essays/poems.
And 1 more death bed on the way.
HAHA JAIME, YOU SUCK OKAY!
I need to stop running on adrenaline.
I need my sleep lor!
But, its okay. Jaime, be strong! :D
I shouldn't be here, but you see, studying for the first time in years is a very good achievement.
And I'm super bored okay!
Chinese leh! Its not like its bio or something.
Argh. I need to read my chem textbook also.
And my physics notes.
To make sure I get more more more marks!
HAHA JAIME, ni si le! :D:D
Didn't get into science fellowship, but its alright.
I still have my CAS hopes and my olympiad stuff.
Confirm crash with training one.
Wo yi jing si le, xie xie ni!
Need to think of something to write for my essays.
Need to sleep early.
Need to fly.
Need to stop wasting smses and talking to RUBBISH people.
(no friends, i'm not referring to you. i mean if you think its you, then its definitely not)
Need to start paying attention and sleeping more.
Need to give my all, and JIA for everything.
Need to be supergirl!
Zoooooooooooooooooooooooooom!
I flyyyyyy!
Okay, its time to go back to doing something constructive.
Bye world who actually bothers to read this.
Which is probably none. But, anyhows.
Seeyou friends! :D
"MAXI! Bo-tan- ni- cal- Gar-dens!"Your positively persevering best,
jaime (:
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Saturday, January 19, 2008
♥ 11:25 PM
Positively, your best.
Friends,
I'll be positively, my best.
I won't give up, and I won't give in.
I'm trying real hard, but its a slow uphill climb.
Its really hard. How do you give up something that was right there?
Alot of times I ask myself what's wrong with me.
I really don't know why I'm still here.
Its not good. Physically, mentally.
I'm not going as far as I'd like to.
I'm not pushing as much as I could.
Come on jaime, you need to do this for yourself.
You need to be somebody.
You need to show yourself, your more than just a
reject.You need to be something!
You try so hard everyday to get through the days.
And you do. But you're not doing your best.
Why jaime, tell me why?
You are given so much, yet you do so little.
I'm so sick and tired of your whining and mourning in your head.
Your complaining and your cursing.
Its enough okay, you don't get everything you want.
God gives you enough already okay.
Can you be satisfied for once?
What the hell is wrong with you jaime maria tan?
Just cause one single person doesn't care, doesn't mean you shouldn't right?
Some people's jobs are to break hearts, but yours is to mend them, and cheer them up.
Why are you staying still?
I can't stand you anymore, jaime!
WHY CAN'T YOU DO SOMETHING!
Sure, you think she deserves nothing.
For what you hear of heartlessness.
But none of this is for you to judge, do you understand?
I hate you for being this stupid whiny brat.
STOP. People can cry for 8 months.
But I won't let you complain even.
Because you know more than to just keep taking away chances.
And stealing. Stealing the things that other people want and are willing to pay for.
I don't care what you wanna say anymore. just stop.
Please. You need to concentrate.
You NEED to perform your role now.
Student, athlete, friend, sister.
That's who you are.
Not, girl with a heck of a social life since the age of 13.
That's not you. you don't even have the time.
So, I'm urging you once more.
To. Stop. The. Hell. Of. This. Whole. Rubbish.
Its your choice. And you can do what you want.
Jaime, listen to yourself. For once.
OKAY.
I need to scream at myself for being so stupid. :D
One week flew by again.
And I'm flying with the wind.
Time for studies.
JIAYOU JAIME.
"its not fair, it never is"what you want, you never get.
jaime.
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Saturday, January 12, 2008
♥ 11:39 PM
Its saturday already!
Ohmygosh. time really flies!
We've had the first CL of the year.
We've had the first cat class of the year.
We've had the first excursion of the year.
And we've had the first presentation of the year.
Its cool and time's flying.
I still don't feel sec3 and even less a VJC student.
But, its okay. It'll happen soon. :D
Next week's bridging curriculum.
This week's I&E was quite alright.
Inspiration! Alexandra Hospital.(:
I'm gonna really work hard for that.
But, I really gotta put THAT behind.
Oh wells. Its tough, but I know it'll work.
And anyhow, this is what I wanted. :D
And this is really what I get.
So, YAY ME!
Let's have a good year ahead, with no stops, no breaks.
And no sad times and depressing moments.
I don't care who you are anymore, cause you're not gonna get me down.
Even if it means saying a freaking
idon'tknowwhat is better than me.
I'm not gonna be gotten down.
(: Have a nice day.
Okay, so I know its real mean to say that.
But, what can you do when you feel you deserve more than "I'm sorry"?
Nothing. Yeah that's right. Nothing.
It sucks to feel like you have everything but yet you have nothing.
Its hard to give up just like that.
You need to know that everything's not real.
And you need to learn to trust yourself and your intuitions.
And finally, you need to be strong.
And this year, that's what I'm gonna be.
And no matter how much I say,
I'm still ANTI-GUY, for now.
If it changes, I'll inform you.
nono, I'm not les.
I'm Anti-guy&Anti-relationship.
It's time to focus on your studies, ccas, family&friends.
That's it. No more wasting sms, calls, nights of sleep and time.
No more. :D
Just in case you want to know.
I'm feeling much much happier.
No thanks to you know who you are. (:
"i'll tell you later"jaime. :D
things things things.
people people people.
we're gonna fall down and pick ourselves up again.
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Sunday, January 06, 2008
♥ 8:48 PM
OSIRISSSSSSSS!:D
Orientation has been so much of fun!
Okay, so maybe the squashy hall dances& cheers weren't that bad after all!
Its like we're all one big Vj family.
But yeah. Nothing beats IJ!
But I really really have to say that orientation was more fun than IJ's orientation!
Okay, maybe the first day or so was kinda boring, but the games and OG dinners and Mass Dances were a hell lot of fun! And ohmygosh, it makes time fly. And makes you really really really tired.
Everyday you get home well after the sun sets and feeling half dead. But, that's cool.
You can really laugh until you cannot laugh anymore. And your throat can die cause of the amount of cheering. oh and the amount of games we play, aha, make us seem like kids. (and look like them too! "mmm chi chi mmm chi, tooki tooki tooki tooki, tongat tongat! :D:D ")
Its nice not having to do work! And Ohmygosh, my class is cooolioo too.
Okay, so maybe we're not up to our seniors standards yet. But, haha, we'll get there.
Our secret sharing sessions and information exchanging activities, funny lah!
But I get the feeling, sometimes. that, oh shoot, wrong thing to do feeling. like someone's not comfortable or something. like the way i'm not really comfortable with some person. okay, nevermindd.
After tmrw, when orientation's over, i'll really miss all the cheering and everything!
Oh wells, time for schoooooooool. Nyehhh:/
Tmrw's sea regatta. I DONT CARE, I'M GONNA PLAYYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm gonna play and runn. Aha, I hope eloise, nono Aloyy will run with mee.
Orrightttt. Time to go do something more constructive!
Seeyou!:DD
Oh yeah, and just in case you wanna know.
I'm happier now. No thanks to you know who. :D
"IJ, IJ! IJ, IJ!"jaime!:D
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
♥ 12:31 PM
First post of the year:
HAPPY 2008, LOVE!Its a new day, a new way.
A new year, new beginning.
A clean new sheet.
Let's start over.
Hi, My name's Jaime.
And I'm a new person with a new heart.
I'm ready for the heartbreaks coming my way.
BRING IT ON!
My new year's resolution is to be a gooood gooood girl and stay happy. Oh and follow the lists!
Which means, I'll study hard, do my work, train even harder, not go off and waste my emotions away on pointless guys, NOT fall in love, find myself a bunch of great friends and to always do my best, be a good friend to everyone, save money, LOVE(as in FRIENDS) like nobody's ever hurt you and nobody ever will, lead yourself, be enthusiastic, PRAY, be organised, and be HAPPY, no matter what. Which, is quite alot, but, I'll manage. Hey, I did 9x400m, I can do ANYTHING, believe me!
I'm happy.
I realised that I'm everything to be.
And everything I wanted to be.
A year ago, this is exactly where I dreamed of.
I'm here, and I'm pushing it.
I'm in the school of my choice, I've a team that's good enough to make it big, I've a class which is bonded, I'm a good student, I've friends who care, there's no more weirdness, i've enough responsibility and enthusiasm, I have absolutely no love life to speak of to distract me and I'm getting there. :D
I'm on the right track, take heart, Jaime.
No more grief, just joy!
I'm five and I'm happy!
I'm 15(soon), I'm young, I've the world at my feet.
I'm foolish and I'm dreaming, and I'm gonna fly.
Mark my words, I'll paint myself the best picture ever.
And you won't be in it, NEHHHHHH, you won't!
15, there's never a wish better than this.
BEST YEAR AHEAD!(:
Smile, Jaime!
And everyone else.
Its okay, parrot phones don't kill.
Parrot's don't kill, either.
They're your friends, and you LOVE them.
Yes jaime yes. Smile, they're happy.
And so are you.
2007's over.
Its ordeals aside.
Time to go.
I'm a happy victorian,
finally!"New opportunities for happiness, jia you!"jaime!
Its a leap year!
Time to JUMP for joy!
&when will you take me away on a balloon?