Saturday, April 28, 2007
♥ 10:31 PM
wooohoo!
TODAYY WAS GREAT!!
i'm inspired to study harder and to go and learn cool stuff.
take me in!puh-leeeassee!!!!
let's talk about the nice nice nice openhouse!
it was nice. we spent one hour at the electives hub. (oops!)
yeah. the branded for life teacher was telling us about alot alot of stuff, so yeah.
THE ELECTIVES ARE DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN COOOOL!
yes please!
and then the subjects presentation thing was super cool.
the way they present it, is soooo interesting!!!
and there are so many choices!
AND AND AND. too many things to say!
and the mass dance was FUNNY!
really very funny!!
and yeahhh! so funn pleease!
and i was shocked. more than once.
OMG! i'm famous! thank you thank you!*waves
jaimestyle wave*
woohooo. i love today's openhouse. one word. hot.
then we had lunch and went for cath.
and then i went to send my mummy off to nz.
yeahh. and i was at the airport thinking,
" in a year, i hope to be here........"YES. OMG! PLEASE TAKE ME IN!!! i'm worth taking in, trust me!
pokay. i need to go be some guai girl. I AM INSPIRED!
"HI! fine, dao us lah!"jaime!is happy!
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Thursday, April 26, 2007
♥ 4:55 PM
the indifference is finally wearing off.
today. i feel like i should never have been born. i feel so horrid. i feel like crap.i don't know what's wrong with me. why am i proving to myself that i am becoming dumber and dumber each day? why? i've been making so many big mistakes, but none of them leave an impact on me. and here i got being myself, and i feel like i have made the biggest stupidest most idiotic mistake in the world that will affect all my future prospects in all other schools. why do i feel this way? i mean, i've apologised about a million and one times already, but i can't get over it. why?!?!this must be the punishment for gossiping. fine, no more gossip. i still feel terrible. i think i should transfer myself to an uninhibited class so that any of my stupid actions would not affect anybody anymore. move to an uninhibited place and live alone. so that my mistakes would affect me and me alone. i won't hurt anybody, i won't dent anybody else's impression. i feel like i've commited a big sin. like i've murdered someone.but we can never live alone. does this mean, we can never make mistakes? i feel like i never want to make a mistake ever again. like mistakes are out to murder me, and swallow me whole. but we're humans and we make mistakes, and we can't be humans without them. aye. i feel so guilty. we tried our best to apologise and do penance. i'll do my own penance. i hope this makes me feel better. aunty michelle said guilt feeling is made by you. and when god forgives, he takes the feeling away. does this mean i'm not forgiven? or is my conscious over-working herself? i don't know. and since my chances are like almost zero now, i shall work to get a better stream then.
pressure is getting to my head. i wish i was in the worst class ever. then we'd work without pressure. that would be really nice.
"My Lord above, take away my sorrows, please."jaime.
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Monday, April 23, 2007
♥ 7:31 PM
this is my 200th post(:
such a meaningful one too!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELLE, DARLING!have a great year ahead! study hard, play hard! your birthday present is comingggg! smile, cause that makes everything sooo much better! HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! ily lots.(: take care, god bless!
"happy birthday!"jaime!
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
♥ 6:45 PM
people and the things they do.
we all have a right to be happy, and being emo, is just spoiling it. making your own problems for half the world to solve it for you.plain stupidity. its damn dumb. and you think your so good. please lah. get a grip. can you go look around and see first. see how much other people have done. i mean yeah, i'm not good either. but PLEASE. stop thinking your almighty lah!PLEASE!oh my gosh. and you can bend so low to betray your friends who are so close to you. you are the cause of so much you know? SO MUCH. and you are blind to it. blind to everything but yourself. self-centered.
aiyoh. and the two of you ah. the past is the past. can't you just shake hands and make up. both of you see only the bad points of the other. and coincidentally, they are the SAME bad points. yeah i know, unlike poles attract, like poles repel. YES. but if only you will see! you'd get along much better. i know that the cause of all this, isn't just the both of you, BUT PLEASE can you all make up and be happy again?that would be great. YES, you all aren't posting on the class blog and YES, you aren't stabbing each other literally, but this will definitely take a toll on your mid years and also, its just ONE huge MISUNDERSTANDING. and that's all. just be done with it and hurray!YES. make up please.
i shall be happy and go along doing my revision. i'm going to do well this term. yes i am!
"you have no idea how stupid you appear, and i'm not about to tell you."jaime.
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Sunday, April 22, 2007
♥ 11:09 PM
I shalls
I shall be disciplined.I shall be driven.I shall be responsible.I shall be dilligent.I shall have initiative.I shall be focussed.I shall study hard.I shall peservere.I shall stand firm in my beliefs.I shall not give in to other people's opinions.I shall do my best.I shall not give up.through cross, we learn to never give up. even if you are dying and really can't go on, just try. give it your all. just go. finish it. do your best. no matter how many people pass you, do your best, and finish what you set out to do.
in the same way, even though, so many tell me bad things, i shall peservere. i will not give up. different people react differently to different situations. i need the stress. i need to be pushed. i want that challenge. i will push on. no matter how many people give up, i will not. i will not give up.
YES. i will not give up.
"actually, we learn alot through cross..."jaime.
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Thursday, April 19, 2007
♥ 7:33 PM
YAY. its over.
i'm happy enough.
i'd like to edit the comment i made the other day.
everyone's in love.-> that comment.
everyone's in love. eeee. so cliche! more cliche than my "chill!".
putting love-ish stuff as msn stuff makes me laugh. cannot cannot. jaime is so unfeeling. tsk. WAHAHAHAA. okay so i'm suppose to edit the comment right?
everyone's in love
and is tired. why people why?
love is a teenage, adolescent thing. explainable.
tired? just sleep lah! tired of something. take a break from it lor! so easy. i think we should start taking mrs tan's advice for once, and start solving our own problems.
talking about a break.
i need a break. i'm sick of the same thing everyday.
same people. same complains. same condolences. SAME SAME SAME.
when's it going to be DIFFERENT?
same people saying the same things. i'm tired of cliche emo-tired phrases. something different if you please. PLEAASSE. different can?
yes.
And the class outing thing is reeetarded. firstly. if the class outing is so much of a trouble, we shouldn't have it at all! REALLY! how can people put theirselves in charge of this kind of thing.SUCK LAH PLEASE. no, not that a certain person sucks. i'm referring to the fact that we are super disorganised, and didn't stop the silly behaviour earlier.
i'm saying stuff i shouldn't say. but i need to say it. so yeah. sorry if you are offended by something. it is not meant to be offensive.
chao. i need to go do other stuff.
"shut up, you don't know the meaning of that word"jaime.
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
♥ 9:26 PM
tomorrow. its tomorrow.
i'm excited and yet so scared.
it'll all be over soon, i pray i'll make a good job out of it.
PLEAASE. thanks.
everybody's in love! aiyoh!
aren't you too? NO! not really! or at least not exacty! Love is something too complex for my dear little mind. WAHAHAHAAA. mondays, i go high. MONDAYS, I LOVE. thursdays i go high too. THURSDAYS, I LOVE. I hope the people will be a motivation for me tomorrow. Please Lord, I ask you for your help to let me do my best, and let me know no limits. Thank you.
4 AND 11. I CAN'T WAIT. i need to study. i need to fly! i hope i fulfil my dreams this year and next year. YES PLEASE. I need a new environment. Please. And for this I pray.
Tomorrow, I shine like the stars.
I sure hope."don't give up!"jaime. tomorrow will be a better day!
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Monday, April 16, 2007
♥ 10:34 PM
two.
two's a number yet explored.
two. only two more.
Monday, I go high. I was nonsensical and crazy. English, was NONSENSICAL, seriously. And PE was slack. We are the PE Slackers. Yes, that's us! I did Negative 2 rounds for PE today. Sensible enough? Then Chinese. The usual. Lao Shi got pissed with us again, cause we were talking too much. I do think we should talk less, but we have no interest in Chinese, NONE AT ALL. Oh and my electronic dictionary screen has cracked(wow, before me!), so I'm in need of a new one.
Recess, the queues were long again, Sigh.
After recess, was OM taken over by English, and then free period. It was Pui Toot's birthday today. So, yeahh. And, Pui Toot wants a Bikini. She made up her song. Free period was FUN. It was sooooo fun! Reallly! It was greatt!
Here's the song:
under the sea
under the sea
under the sea
wear bikini
come and touch me.
and then assembly and then after school.
Pre-training lunch was FUNNY! I tell you, that junior of mine is soooo funny! I pity Cathy and Chewy for being in her class. Really! She is perpetually high, higher than me! Imagine that. Oh and they used their Calcuphones during class and their Science teacher used it too. I tell you, soo funny.
Training was slack. And, I came home to slack somemore. I absolutely need to stop using YOU, my computer. It's time to face reality and study, I cannot afford to waste anymore time on people online! ARGH! Okay, I need to sleep and all. Nighty!
"lots of love."
jaime.
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Sunday, April 15, 2007
♥ 6:33 PM
aye.
didn't reach my mummy's target.
but I'm satisfied. partly.
that idiotic sec one is so bloody arrogant. that one. she is good, no doubt, but she is soo show-off.thus, i shall vow to beat her for nationals. as in track nationals, cause for XC nationals, its a little too late to think of it. but anyway.
'having hope is not giving
up till the last whistle blows' or as i would edit it
'having hope is not giving up until I pass the finishing line' that would mean I probably would have to emerge like top 3? oh gosh. what am i putting myself up to? D.R.E.A.M jaime, dream.
and then i'm thinking of my cl camp. its going to be, broken up. IF i get it. so it'll be me leaving so often. not really nice. how nice if everything was WHEN instead of IF. but sacrifices must be made to achieve your goals. that's a sad fact. but this has to happen since i'm such a dreamer and a tracker.I WILL ACHIEVE, MUAHAHAHAHA. NOBODY SHALL STOP ME! NOT EVEN MYSELF!
OM. was fine. i hoped we would get top 10. and we did. my group members were sad, cause they were aiming to get something. but you see, jaime has a very pessimistic sort of psychology, so yeah. my dad says its kiasu. but i hate feeling disappointed, so aim low. but for cross, i will aim high. because i don't want to drop too low. cross is my only chance to prove myself now. and I need it. all that trainings, and times. all that energy and aches. It is my time to shine.
"all the track's a stage and all the rest are mere props" -concept art. I need to whack cross. I NEED to, it's not a matter of WANT anymore. I need to prove it to them, but most importantly myself. i'm losing faith in the things I can do, because I feel like i'm deproving. I need to show this to myself. but as we said, if you believe in yourself, then only can you achieve. I NEED TO
BELIEVE, DAMMIT. three. it only takes three now. three is all is left. in three, it'll be alright. i'll believe, and i'll achieve. I'll have
faith in my potential,
hope for the best, and
love for what i am to do. I WILL.
PA was a disaster. I would have asked them to be more enthu, but my throat was dying. and i've had wayy too much acting this week. OM, OM and more OM. I kinda let myself down. Cause i thought that i could make magic. I gave up, I didn't persevere. I need to persevere. In all I do. I seem to be giving up too easily these days. From now, I will not give up. PUSH LIMITS, JAIME, PUSH! I'm feeling inferior now. RAHH. I need to CHIA YOU!
On a happier note, its 13 days till I can roam the premises of my dreams. And only 24 days till the end of exams. therefore, i need to study. Study is good, just like running. Running is great. Study is
realllly good.Jaime shall go study and stop hoping for people to stop being useless and stop crapping and start persevering.Cause she knows she can make wonders!
JAIME CAN DO IT! (she's trying to get herself to believe in her. strange, because she has an ego the size of the moon)
"i think i can, i think i can"and i'll believe.
Jaime.
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
♥ 10:48 PM
9th. national juniors.
thousand five more.
yi ding yao chia you!
Cross Country is coming!
YES!the ordeals will be all over soon!
OM. is over soon!
hurray!jaime happy!
OM CAMP WOULD BE SOO FUN!
today i saw a nice uniform. jaime wants to wear the uniform next year.jaime will wear the uniform next year!
my ass. and sulin will says yes your butt is big. HAAA.
yupps. i will chia you and push the limits. i'll fly! WHEE.7 days to cross country, 17 days till openhouse, 28 days till end of exams. CHIA YOOU!
"jia min you hen duo er duo!"jaime.its called multi-tasking.
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Friday, April 06, 2007
♥ 9:05 PM
hurray! passion play is ovvverr. no more practices, no more time constraints, no more spending almost my whole entire weekend in church! yay! and we did well anyway, GOOD JOB EVERYBODY!it was great!LOTS OF LOVE.
aiyoh. i am off broken telephone and truth or dare in a long time, lest i get tortured/ mutilated. UHHUH. its a traumatic and extremely scary experience. i'm sorry colin it must have been like horrible for you. SORRRY. i have horribly cruel friends. uhhuh! but anyway. but i probably got over the trauma already. ahaha. this is exaggerated. to a certain extend.
i realise i enjoy saying sorry to people. hmph. nobody says sorry to me. SO WEIRD. i'm a weird little girl.wheeeeeeeeeee.
"i need a counsellor"jaime. (:
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
♥ 12:01 AM
i'm pissed at a certain someone. who has no respect for others and thinks she's the greatest in the whole wide world. seriously. i understand why she said that already.
but seriously. the only reason is cause she wants it. i don't know for what. its like their all over reactive control freaks. no, i'm not complaining because people are too neat. nevermind. please don't try to interpret the post. cause it doesn't make sense unless you know what i'm feeling and towards who and you heard that muttered phrase during PE. this is messy. its about so many different people, but i haven't mentioned any names. cause, if i do, it'll be backstabbing people. which is not good. pissifying experiences with people who just think they are better than you all the time, and refuse to trust you. OH WELL.
sorrys. i've got to say this, guilt.
clara- I'm so sorry. we're using your props and you're not in OM. i'm really really really sorry. I'm feeling very guilty cause of this. but we'll do our best, and do you proud. i'm sorry. but thank you too. i'm so sorry!! you were so helpful and you were so co-operative. you did so much. i'm really sorry.
arielle- its sad that you can't do OM either! the polar bear was soo good. i mean you fit the role soo well. but then 7 people.aye. this is so tragic lah.and the shoes. they were GREEEAAT. i'm so sorry you can't go. i'm sorry!
yeewern- thanks for being so willing to let us go without you. but we needed you too you know. OM wouldn't be complete without you. i'm sorry you can't go either. but you helped us soo much. you were so co-operative and everything, i'm so sorry.
i'm sorry people, about OM. like you all can't go, cause of the merger. and like its only su and i going. like we're taking your place. i think i don't exactly deserve it. but i want it. i'm so selfish. i'm sorry. if you want to replace me, i think its fine you know. cause i feel guilty depriving you guys of a chance. next year i won't compete, and i'll help you k? i'm sorry! dui bu qi.
nighto.
"the alliteration of see"jaime.
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
♥ 10:22 PM
i don't know.
the om thing.
they're all angry.
i am kinda sad and kinda "i don't care"
i pity clara so much.
all that work she put in.
i mean... ALL that work.
its like doing all the passion play props twice, on her own.
that's pretty much all.
i don't really think it was an unfair choice, because as much as mrs yap doesn't know what's going on with the other group, neither do we. so i can't judge if we've put in more work. i agree, our props do look really professional and look really good. but that's one part. and yeah. maybe God put this in our way, so that we could learn from it, and grow from it.
everything in its time. God puts everything in the right place at the right time, we just don't realise.we've just got to get
over it and
let it go. yeah.i seem to realise that God has a purpose for it. or at least i think. for me at least. but i can't help feeling that it is really very selfish. but God is not selfish. Maybe it IS better for everyone, i shall not dwell on the injustice, because, i've emphaised it so many times, and nothing is done, therefore, i have come to accept the fact that justice is absent. oh wells.AIYAH. As much as i try to accept the fact that we're not in and its put there for a reason. i can't help but feel what i felt at the beginning of the year, all over again. which is probably why i was feeling so listless and depressed. i felt like i had lost twice. TWICE. to the same people. twice. imagine that. it feels sucky. and the examined life thing i wrote came back to me. and i was thinking. you examine your life to see the mistakes so that you can make right. but i haven't. aye. but i shall get over it. brooding over things is not counted as examining your life. so OVER.
"she gave her best, but you said it wasn't enough"jaime.limitless.
&when will you take me away on a balloon?