Thursday, December 20, 2007
♥ 4:47 PM
Okay, I haven't blogged in ages.
But I just haven't been feeling in the mood.
And I still don't, but oh wells.
Yupp yupp.
So many things have happened since the last time i blogged.
Its tiring to watch.
Everyday's the same, and as soon as I got the message, I stopped waiting.
Waiting kills, it sucks the life out of you. It wastes your time.
I'm not going to wait 8 months and go become a cuckoo ding dong.
But its hard to just let it go, just like that.
I'll give myself time. Time's the universal cure, I guess.
Train train train train. I didn't train today!
Caroling yesterday. It was fun!
I love love love love love love aunty phyllis' house!
But caroling just makes me feel like time just flew by.
And it just passed me by.
Oh wells, I'm gonna make it big and have a house like Aunty Phyllis', someday.
Everything just feels strange now.
I don't feel myself.
I don't feel the same inside.
Its just this strange outer me.
I'm talking to myself even more often.
At least I gave up waiting.
That's one good thing.
I want to turn back time, make sure I didn't make that mistake.
I don't want to know you anymore.
I don't want to see you anymore.
It just confuses me. It mixes up my decisions.
And my emotions, mind you.
I'm supposed to act like nothing's happened.
And I'm supposed to know that nothing's ever going to happen.
Its real hard. With so much hope, and so much thought.
You're going away.
I'm happy.
I'll have a break from seeing you there everyday.
And I don't have to pretend smile anymore.
You ask me if I'm alright.
Yeah, sure I am.How am I supposed to tell you, you're killing me inside?
I can't and won't. So I'll just,
lie.Smile and laugh, and just hide everything.
Fatigue, fear and hurt; Sweep it under the carpet.
Just no more peace. I need my peace, thank you.
You won't see this, its good. At least I can say everything somewhere.
Okay, so this doesn't make any logical sense.
But I'm feeling like I need to say something somewhere.
I'm gonna finish packing my terribly ugly(especially now, at this point of time) rooom.
lalalalalalala.
We all need a little patience, but we don't have all that endurance.
And sometimes waiting isn't what you should be doing.
Soooooooooooo, its time to hand those hopes in.
And give it up, cause its time to start anew.
Hello fresh new world!
Oh x'mas is coming!
I want a time machine, just a chance that maybe we'll find better days and aunty phyllis' house!
Think you can manage that?:D
"i'm learning to breathe on my own"jaime.
Lalalalalalalalalala!
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
