Red swollen eyes and tears of lost.

Yesterday was the last day of school.
Three-quarters of the class cried.
We tried not to cry, we really did.
But, its really too much to take in.
We're leaving our home of 8 years, our friends who were there no matter what happened. The ones we've learnt to live with, the ones who've brought so much joy and the ones who we have known and loved.
Its really hard to drop it all and go ahead with my life pretending all this never happen and starting over. No, it'll be inhumane to do that. I really wish that I wouldn't go and nothing would ever change. But nothing's ever ceteris paribus. So why bother. But there's this bond between us. All my friends. I can't believe I'll never get to go for lunches after school with the same people. Never get to take 163 back from school. Never get to wear that Ij uniform feeling rightfully permitted to wearing it. Never again. Its really hard. And I really can't believe it. I really wish this was a dream because its too good to be true. These chances and these things that are happening to me now. On the surface. But on an emotional level. Nothing's right. Its confusing. And I'm more confused than usual. Its sad. And I really wish things wouldn't change.
Will you remember me?
Will I remember myself?

Oh god, please don't take it all away. - Charlie Gordon
(And I'll never do flowers for algernon again.)
I feel the same. Let things work out.

God help me. I'd really like to do well in the future, but I'd really like to keep this closeness still. Help me Lord.

Thank you everyone for eveything you've done for me over these 8 years. Especially my 2/1 classmates. Y'all mean the world to me. And I'm sacrificing my world for something new. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I'm sorry. I love you guys, and I really mean it. I'd do anything to repeat this all again. Thank you, I'll never forget all of you. Never.

"I don't forget you, oh its so sad"
-Avril Lavigne, Slipped Away
jaime.
everything changes. let me stay the same.







This is it.
The day I wanted so much a year ago.
The day I so dreaded a month ago.
And the day I don't know what to feel about now.
Apprenhension, ambivalence?
I'm going to make it right.
Everything I wanted and everything I stand to be.
Its been made. The choice, my future, my life.
All by God.
This is it. The day has come.
The dawn is coming.
Time to get some rest, to see what this day is bringing.
Don't let me cry, don't let me cry.
I'm going to miss you so.
After every single day and second I've thought about being an IJ girl.
Picturing myself in this uniform.
This is it.
Its too soon. It doesn't feel right.
But nothing feels the way its supposed to feel anymore.
I pray for strength, that I may bear this in my stride.
For hope, that I'll keep hoping that this is good.
For courage, that I'll be able to take the plunge.
And for serenity, that peace may take over, no matter what I feel.
A peace within that nothing can replace.
This is like a dream.
Love, school and futures.
None of this appears real.
Oh please let me wake up tomorrow and realise its all a dream.
Its too good for me, its too good to believe.
Its too surreal, it feels other-worldly.
I trust you Lord, let this be right.
Guide me guardian angel.
Mother Mary, pray for me.
Jesus be at my side.

This is a dream I want to have with everything except regret.
I never want to take a 2nd look at it. Ever again.

"thank you."
jaime.

I'm just really confused now. And I just really want it all to work out.
I don't know if this is right. And flipping coins won't do anything.
Regret, you make this so hard to bear. Sentimentality, you're killing my joy.







2 more school days.
francesca&arielene have flown off.
So this is goodbye.
time to move on.

I'm 29th in the level:D
Or at least I don't mind being that.
Beatrice beat meee!YAY!:D
let's see who believes me.

"Paper bags and plastic hearts."
jaime.







Results yesterday.
Pretty pleasantly surprised.
CIP yesterday.
It's good helping cancer patients, indirectly.
CL yesterday.
Spiritual sorts out your thoughts, but doesn't fix your problems.

Aye, I don't know why I feel this way. Its not like I totally flunked my exams and its not like I'm not happy with my results( which I'm really not that unhappy with, serious ) and its not like I'm being stressed to study or do anything since I'm currently floating. And its not like I know that the whole world is against me and is trying to kill my guts cause I'm friggin' hated just cause of the things I do. And its not like I'm still trying to make my choice and am still feelig confused, cause I've already (officially) made my choice. So, why the hell do I feel like everything's going to vapourise and this sinking feeling is going to break me. Sure, I'm gonna miss my friends and suree I'm not even sure if this is the right thing to do. But this is definitely no reason for me to feel so effing shit. Maybe its cause I feel like everything has to be ruined by something else everytime I have some hopes for something. But I really can't help it. Things just happen, right?

Aye, I am a happy kid. So, I should shut up about this. Pronto.
Let's be strength for the world and bring joy to the people.
This is the mission. Bulk up and let's go.

"Why is it so hard to be the person I want to be?"
jaime.







Oh man.
Everybody's stressed, sad, depressed or confused.
Nothing's right anymore.
Yes, I'm getting on quite well.
Yes, I'm a contradiction.
But my friends, MY FRIENDS!
One of them is friggin' confused and stressed about a decision which could make or break you.
Another's being a victim of hatred and judgement.
And yet another is being stressed out by the pressures of the world.
Could this world be any worse?
Everybody says that God's always there.
And I try to believe it.
But sometimes its just so hard when everything's falling apart.
And nothing comes. And you feel like screaming at the divine being above for not helping you and not fixing anything. Its like we're all walking this path alone.
And it really questions everything you believe in.
But then there's all these information that substantiates all your problems and solutions on how to fix it. But really, how many times do we doubt it all?
So many, so many.
Its hard to believe. But that's our challenge living in this 21st century.
To keep the faith and to believe.
To do the right thing no matter teh consequences and situations.
That's what we're supposed to do.

Challenges, choices and failures.
Parts of life.
Let's do this together.
Make everything right.
Come on people, life's great!
JIAYOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i think i'm in love. no please, no!

"I'm happy for you."
jaime.







We checked papers yesterday and stoned today.
Modern jazz is quite cool, and I really wanna try out.
But haha, I don't think I can dance, at all.
I mean, hey, ballet's a perfect example.
But, you'll never know. Maybe steps are easier?
Tomorrow we check the remaining papers.
Tomorrow we make or break.
I hope I'd do well. They're all my critical subjects.

it must suck to feel that way.
and i know how it does.
i'm sorry.

In a week, it'll all be over.
This wonderful journey just left with memories.
All the work that we did to establish reputations and stuff.
All over. It'll be just history, the past. Her story, my story.
Soon, we'll be starting off a fresh new page. Everything cleared.
A new beginning. Let's make it right this time. Just the way we want it.
I promised myself, I won't look back, I won't regret.
But I'm so afraid this is all a huge mistake.
Please, let this work, PLEASE.
I don't want to cry. I want to leave happily.
I want a happy ending. A nice end. Closure.
Happily ever after.

"Why can't hatred just be gone?"
jaime.







This has been the bestest 5days ever. EVER.

Today.
Went to sentosa with tessa, celeste and lizzi. Its the bestest beach occasion I've ever ever had. Really. Tessa, lizzi and I met at yck mrt station to take the train down at 9. While celeste had choir. Yeah, so we went to harbourfront and bought all the food that we needed which cost $11.50 in total. But we still have leftovers. It was good food anyway. Then, we took the monorail down to the beach station and waited for celeste under the hot sun which gave us a sexy back!;D We built sandcastles(in the sand) and jumped waves and picked up shells. It was greatt greatt fun. And yeah, sexy back!:D Lizzi and I got our shorts wet in the sea, but they dried. But left a white(or yellow for lizzi) layer. Then, we went to the merlion walk and kinda took photos waiting for celeste. We wanted to go into the giant fountain, but hey, we didn't want to get a scolding. There were these superr cool bell thingos. Our sunglasses were put on for half the time, so we only got a half tan. Which, is oh well, better than nothing. I really wanted a full sunglasses tan, maan. Anyway. After that, we met celeste and ate super expensive lunch or normally priced pizza. And then we went cycling. Then then, we went to take the luge ride. We bought tickets. Family set. 26 bucks for 4 skyrides and 4 luge rides. But we didn't get to use the skyrides since it friggin' rained out on us :/. Anyhow. We had fun there. And, haha, we had to lie that tessa was 12. And it was easy. Cause the lady asked the 3 of us( Celeste, Lizzi and I); "Do y'all have a kid with you?" and we showed her tessa and then within 3 seconds she said okay. HAHA. That proves how young tessa actually seems/looks.:D Okay, so after we luged down we decided to go do something else before we skyrode up (which apparently didn't happen due to unforseen circumstances and poor weather). So yeaaah. After that, we cycled double bikes. Celeste and jaime, Tessa and lizzi. I swear, our bike hated us! It was not even stable! Not our faults lah, we're quite good cyclers, y'know! Lizzi said we didn't have balance. Pffsh, they lost balance toooo! (Haha, but we kinda almost crashed into alot of things:/, THE BIKE'S FAULT!) Since we kinda didn't have anywhere left to cycle, and we returned the bike early. Yeaaaaah. But we used the bike well. Well enough. And then we decided to go to the seemingly much more clear and empty Palawan Beach. And so, we went to the beach and then it was overcast and it kinda started drizzling. But we weren't really bothered and really wanted to cross the bridge that was over the waters (Haha, bridge over troubled waters). And then when we reached the other side, we heard thunder and we went back to where we left our bags, which was super near a super wonderful fountain where some kiddies were playing in, cause it was allowed!:D Yeah, and so at first we were just playing around the fountains. But your dear blogger here, accidentally got her back wet by standing in front of a water thingo and decided to just get herself wet. Which did happen. And O'course Lizzi did got wet too. Tessa and Celeste weren't supposed to get wet, but they did anyways. HAHA. Yupp. So we played like little innocent kids for a super long time and got mighty mighty wet and took some, ahem pictures. But, it WAS tonnes of fun and yeah, fun!:D Okay, and then, lizzi and tessa went to get changed and celeste and I played for a little longer and then we realised that it kinda started raining quite haevily and we went off to the toilet to go get shelter and change out. Yupppppp. Change change change. And then we went off. HOPING to ride the skyride. But, hmph. So anyway, we took the tram back to vivo, had dinner at Banquet and went off to candy empire. Candy empire was super argh cause we couldn't afford to buy much, since we are the poor people. Sadly.:/ But yeah, I bought 2 nerdropes and 2 mozartshakes. Heh. One of each for me and one of each for my brother. And then we took the train home. And we had soooooooo much fun on the train. What with my earring, and the rubbing in and the super retarded train sign and all. It was damnn good. I swear! I'd do it again, even if the rain rained and rained. So at YCK, my dad picked me up and I got home at a grand time of 9pm. That makes 12hours of going out and having fun. Sassy!:D

I'm not sure if I left out anything but you could check out tessa, celeste, lizzi's blogs. They're really good sources of info too!:D

I LOVE 'EM ALL SO MUCH, I SWEAR!

Yesterday.
I went running with michen at YCK stadium and then we had breakfast at AMK macs. And then we went swinging. Oh gosh, it was so much fun. I love swinging, makes me feel like I'm flying, and I was. So yeah. And after that, we hopped on 138 and bussed all the way to the ZOO! The adult ticket(above 12) was 16.50 and we so wanted to fake and go in as kids, but haha, we couldn't lie. So, we wasted 8 dollars each. :/ Oh wells. And then when we went into the zoo, we had soo much fun naming the animals our friends' names and all. We were going friggin' crazy. And we took pictures of all all all all all the animals. Well almost all. And yeah, we took way way way way way way too many too many pictures. 100 over lah! But it was fun! And then half way, it started raining. What a time to rain, really! So we ran ran ran ran ran out of the zoo to KFC for lunch. Met michen's brother on the way. So coincidental. So we had our food, and my cheese fries which i eventually brought home and threw away. And by the time we were done, the rain stopped. Which was good. So we went off seeing again and watching some animals get fed. It was sooo much fun and yeah, so much laughter! I'm sure I can compile a picture album of animals with the amount of photos we took. Cause there was only ONE of us. HAHA! retards, really! And so, at 4 something, we went off for B&Js ice-cream and off to j8 for our materials buying! Michelle and I decided on green and black. Cause black gives a cool effect and green's both our favourite colours, totally!:D So yeah. Yupp, and then we walked around and used the toilet. And I kinda left my phone in the toilet. HEH! But we got it back(thank god!). Yeah. And then michelle had to go, and I had to go home. Yeahh. I know its in much less detail cause its been more days since it happened and my arm, well its really aching from typing so much. I'm sorry. Pictures may come, who's to say. But my friend's would probably upload it.

You can check out Michen's blog for more details on the great great great perfect day we had out.

Saturday+Sunday.
Weekends are always great. Especially when its CL Sunday. Needless to say, it was greeeeat.

Friday.
YANGLIN AND JOCELYN ; BESTFRIENDS+BRIDEMAIDS! I love y'all!
Although much has changed and there's so much still uncompleted, we're gonna be in this together, always.
We had fun at esplanade, merlion and getting lost. It was very very fun. Its been the bestest day out with them. Ever.:D

And so, if these 5 days were how Olevels were conducted, I'm so gonna be the top student in the world and I'm so going to be the bestest! Have fun all you people who's exams are over and, cherios!:D


"Its the best day ever. again and again and again."
jaime. I LOVE Y'ALL!

ps: Links are updated. the blogs are stated:D







Reunion day out with jocelyn and yanglin was fun!
Esplanade and Merlion and thelightofGod.
Citylink and SuntecCity and RafflesPlace and all.
Funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!;DDD
We really ought to do this more often.
Next time it'll be the airport.
And I really really hope, we can keep this friendships going!:))
Its been such a great and long day.
And I'm getting a little tired.
And since entertainment at this time is futile.
I should be getting to sleep now.
I really really really loved today, honestly.:D
And I probably wouldn't trade it for the world.
As yanglin said, best- est day ever!
Ciao people!
Here's some pictures for comic relief.
(this is the first time I'm uploading pictures, so...)






"So she's given up?"
jaime.







OUT LATER(or tomorrow), finally!
Reunions and memories, let's keep them close to our heart and never let them fly away.

i'm a confused little kid who has no freaking idea what is happening to her and the people around her and how her frienships and what not are evolving. Things I want are being torn up into impossibility and immorality, how it'll hurt other people and all. Is this adolescence? I hope this is a phase which phases out soon, cause I need more faith. Cause I never want to give up hope on the better good. "I Love You" is a funny phrase, you can say it all the time, but you can never say it when you mean it. In front of the people you love the most and want to express gratitude, it'll never come. Its ironic, but this is life.
I'm excited about tmrw/today! Let's go go go!:DDDDD

"What if our love, never went away"
jaime.:D







GOLF, GUITAR, RUNNING!:D:D:D
Freedom at last!
I'm finally blogging here and not trying to digest some large chunk of evil information and then memorising it. That is hell, this is savanah. No more gehenna. Hello paradise! Whee whee whee.
I think I'm not gonna do very well, but, aye, who cares lah.:D
I cannot be bothered. I'm going to take a rest from all that books and stationery. Withdrawal symptoms. I wanna wanna wanna go down to Seletar now. Let's go run in the rain, cause there's nothing more fulfilling than that. Haha, but there's nothing worse than getting a flu and getting nagged by mummy. Which is it, which is it?

Turn it up, 5 minutes to midnight.:D I'm so going to sleep early tonight and grow tall! Let's get lost in our dreams and aspirations, or let's just get lost in Singapore. Or we could just take a train ride around the world and see how it works and moves and be moved.:D:D How's that sound?The palace maid is going to fall helplessly through the roof and into the basement. Just because. Swing me to the moon and fetch me a shooting star. Cause I'm in love with a statue of an astronaut who's taken my heart outer space to hide behind the hills.

Oh gosh, what am I saying! This is insane. But I'm not. Haah! This is what exams do to you. I'm so going to break my hand writing notes. Beat that, beat that! If I do well for SAs like 6 goooood A1s, I'm gonna fly around like jayjay the jetplane and I'm sure as hell gonna be a silly saturday night fever dancer, totally. Haha, 6A1s kissed goodbye. Assuming you can't run away, do your best to hide your face. Save me the embarrassment of not doing well. I want to do well. I hope my notes and all helped me this term, even though, I highly doubt. PLEEEASE. :/

REMIX!:D
I know you get what you get you get what you deserve. I'm sick of everybody else. Not the easiest person to love. I know sometimes its hard to see, I'm not afraid to fall. You fill the darkness with just one flash of light, the magic's in the music and the music's in me. Staring out into the night, I guess you don't know me at all. And stronger now, than ever. But deep inside the corner of my eye, I'm attached to you. You're desperate for an answer, the night's grown shorter. Sunlight breaks over moonlit skies, this day comes to mind.
Now, wasn't that fun.:D

Have fun enjoying your holidays or whatever. Memories are good, remember them.:D
Its good to be back, but its better to be on the track.
Now let's get those asses moving and make something out of nothing. For sucess comes not without hard work. :DDDDDDDD

"I'll sing with you forever, for the rest of my days"
palace maid, jaime.
who's extremely random and happy now.:D

whatever breaks you, makes you strong.
gotta keep going!


JAIME! ;D
all-day catholic
ijtp vip/vjc svdp
2/1'07 08v13
cross golf cl


As hard as it is,
GOD,family and friends.
running, trying,helping
music, peace and laughter


eternal happiness
oneway ticket to heaven
to be a better person
better results, faster timings
more faith, less hate
mend hearts, create smiles





TWOONE'07!
08v13!
arielene!
celeste!
charissa!
courtney!
francesca!
hillkoh!
hillhoo!
lizzi!
marrissa!
mao!
michelle!
sulin!
tessa!
yanglin!
wadee!
designer. codes.


designer: FILLINTHEBLANKS
image: foto decadent
brushes: 1 2 3
image hosting: imageshack
fonts: dafont Fonts for peas
edited in adobe photoshop cs3



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