Saturday, July 28, 2007
♥ 2:57 PM
I was just looking at my archives.
Oh man. It was may last year that I decided that I would refuse to do IP.
And just 2 months after that, I hungered so much to get in.
And now, a year and 2 months later. I am in.
And I realised how much I wanted to get into RJ.
Well, things change don't they. Things change.
And I realised how much my profile here on my blog would change.
Greatly, greatly. See the amount of eradications?
No, they won't be gone entirely. They'll just be changed.
I won't forget the memories I had, and the people that I love.
No, I won't. No I won't at all.
But I can't help thinking how much life would change, and how much
I would change.
And I saw how much I wanted to do triple science.
Well, I still get to do it, I guess.
And. How much I wanted that closeness.
And how much sometimes I think I still do.
But you see, its different, its different.
How different, I don't know.
I just don't want to be back at square one.
Stupid, embarrassed and faraway.
I want things to work out this time.
Yes, I do.
Opportunity cost.
I'd gain joy and experience. But I'd lose safety.
I can't help thinking how much I'd miss everyone, and everything.
But, I can't help thinking about how much fun I'd have.
How much more I'd learn, how much I'd change and grow.
How much I'd follow what I've wanted to do.
How much I'll try to outshine and fail.
And yet, still know I am good enough.
How much I'd feel.
I really want it. But I don't know its what I need.
I hope it is. And I'm hoping its the right choice.
I really do. I'll cope. I know I will.
Or at least, I'll try.
Thank you, Lord.
You did this much for me, knowing now, I'd ask for more.
You knew how much would be expected of me, now.
And I know you'd pull me through. You'd guide me.
Help me. I need your help more than ever now.
And yet, I thank you everyday.
"MONK-GO GOO-MEE!"jaime. sometimes you need to lose something, to gain something else.
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
