Friday, March 16, 2007
♥ 10:46 PM
while elizabeth decides not to reply my instant messages, i shall blog.
my performance in today's cross country isn't bad, i suppose. it was satisfactory, shall we say?
i don't think i did my best. i think i could have done better, i always do. i need to know what my best is. cause i don't know how much to push.i'm afraid that i'd die from trying too hard, but i'm afraid that i've not done my best. i suppose this is the beauty and also the horror of the sport. what an irony.
today's friday. usually i like fridays, but this friday does not signify the end of a horrid school week, filled with trials and tribulations, but rather the end of a rather un-holiday like holiday. sigh. back to the books.or rather, and addition of the books. the holidays really didn't feel like a holiday. i haven't even gone out aimlessly, just walking around and window shopping. when was the last time i watched a movie, walked around aimlessly and just hung? last year, after christmas. now isn't that a long time. everything's been going over my head.so basically, i just had a pointless week. which is great don't you think?let's recall what i've done shall we?sunday, passion play rehearsal, cl, golf. and then monday, training and passion play rehearsal. tuesday, dental, tuition and a great amount of agony. wednesday, lunching with mich, training, passion play rehearsal. thursday, meeting to discuss project(s), homework. friday, competition, lunch and dinner, homework. this is the life i lead, the week i love. my ass.
OH NO, and it doesn't end there, no it doesn't. the next weeks till cross country nationals will be equally busy, if not busier. isn't my schedule just the one that everybody wants. my ass. i'm just pissed with the world now. and i need a break from all these time absorbers and brain suckers. seriously.rahh.i'm just really sad that i kinda burnt my hols, on worthless things and people. so much to do, so little time. oh how much that applies now. the teachers should hold those projects. the people who are acting should hold their mouths, the coaches should hold their complaints and the other groups should just mind their own businesses.
everything's messed up now, and i just need a rest. oh how relevant the song boston is now. i think i'll go to boston, where nobody knows my name. let's sort everything out bit by bit. homework, projects, competitions, tasks to complete, trainings, people, events, things,
myself. its easy to cope, but its hard to do everything well. i know i tell my parents that i can, but can i really? all i know now, is that i have to, in order to fulfill my dreams and goals, in order to live up to expectations, in order to not disappoint anyone. i've just got to,
manage.
"its a matter of managing time, my ass
"jaime.
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
