Saturday, March 03, 2007
♥ 11:49 PM
i'm feeling sian.
can you tell?
whee. chinese sucks man.
i hate chinese.
and its my heritage? WOW.
i'm too slackish. look at all those Alevel people.
they are so hardworking.
can be SEA game athlete and get 3 or 4 As. incredible right?
nope, it's normal. i need to strive harder.
and be less SLACK.
i'm feeling sian, why?
cause there are things that i just can't control, and it sucks, cause i want them badly. SAD or BAD? i don't know.
oh wells. its God's plan i suppose, and if its fated, it will happen, if not, nothing will go.
so i've got to accept it...i suppose.
and i've got to work hard, since for some things, my fate is not sealed yet.
or not known. so i need to work hard to have a good one.
i've been hoping so much, i was wondering what happens if my hopes crash
would i just break down, and die.
since its been all i've been hoping and waiting and working for.
my motivation, my life.
if that's all there is, what happens when its gone?
i ask myself these, all too often...but nothing comes.
i need to make sure it comes, so i don't fall so far.
or break down..
i just need to. i know its God's plan...but God helps those who help themselves.
i don't know.
but i really want it.bad.
it would change me.i know it would.
socially, mentally, physically and psychologically.
i know it would.
i'd be a better person, altogether
but what if i don't get it.
its all i've been thinking of recently.
what if i
don't.WHAT IF.
the world is filled with this element of uncertainty which makes everyone feel scared and afraid for their futures, their hopes and their dreams.
if we knew what would happen, we wouldn't work, because the fate wouldn't change.
but if we did know, we wouldn't waste our time on useless things.
I just need to try harder.
Lord above, help me.
Help me go higher and higher.
set me free, set me free.
Help my soul, help my body.
I want this bad.
Help me do my best.
"can't you see the yearning?"jaime. i want this bad.
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
