Monday, March 12, 2007
♥ 10:15 PM
hellooo.
lissa says my posts are emo.
they're not emo, they're
reflective.
different okay!
haha. just now when i was going for training, in the bus, i was listening to my mp3. and i was listening to over it by annelise de vanderpol or something like that. yeah. and then i recalled how sad it was to me a few months ago and everything. actually it was just the title and a few lines, but yeah. i thought i would never get over not getting leadership positions etc. and i realise how air headed i was. now i can barely care. why? cause fel is soo stressed, imagine if i become like her. i would have totally no life, not like i have much of it now, but still. you'll have so many things weighing you down and soo many things to do. so, therefore i don't think i want them. oh wells. this is a random thought.
uhhuh. i'm feeling neutral. whee. and i'm having a really caged and regimental life at this point of time, and i am feeling neutral.okay...something is wrong with me. seriously.oh wells. my choice and i've got to support my choices to the very end, ganbate! its choices that we make that make us, its things we do that judge us and its things that we say that carry us through. oh well. i'm feeling neutral about the saddest things, and sad about things people say about others, AND, i'm still complaining about a certain someone. so hypocritical, please! oh wells. i need to sleep so that i can grow tall-er, study, to achieve my little goal, train, to be formidable and to be disciplined, so that i would be nagged at less. yes, that is what i have to do. HAAA.
and something is wrong with me. i told you!!! this doesn't make any sense. it never does. HEEEEEEEE. oh wells. i think my problem is this indifferent attitude toward anything that's not exactly what i think i need to do. indifference, it isn't a bad thing. cause i don't get saddened by normally-saddening-things. but it isn't good, cause you can't exactly show sympathy and you aren't exactly normal. or rather your reactions to things aren't at least. oh wells. i'm explaining everything out, for no good reason. wow. go figure.
oh wells. i kinda like being indifferent and regimented and caged.haha. regimented and ill-disciplined what a combination. haha. i'm spending too much time on the computer. i need to get nagged less. and its damn late already.
"indifference will pull you through the tough times."well, it uses less of your emotional space and gives you more concentration, i think.
jaime. the indifferent warrior.:D
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
