Tuesday, November 21, 2006
♥ 4:34 PM
CINDERELLA!smile okay.everything's going to be fine.life goes on okay.even if its a fake smile, it'll make you happier after awhile.alright?(:oh and you can call me anytime if you need to talk.
Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
-all american rejects, move along
sometimes, i just wish they would shut up. i mean you're not me right? so how can you make me do something when i said i've already done my best.other times, i don't even get my chance to explain. is it really my fault, i'm not exactly the same as you? is it my fault that my pros are not the same as yours? is it my fault that i've been so damn tired and you're thinking i'm not doing anything.its kinda like really pissing when people think they know something they really don't. i mean if you really are good enough then keep it to yourself, cause i ain't that good. but the thought that you really aren't all that good just puts me off. i mean how can you tell someone to do something when you don't even know it all that well.
and another thing.
i don't know what i'm doing wrong. it's like nobody's seeing what i'm doing.it's like working super super super overtime and not getting paid, and instead getting a pay cut. but then again, god never ever takes a break and then all the stupid assh**es in the world are still cursing the religion and everything. so maybe that's what life is. but still.i can't look over it. it's like this.
you're working overtime and you're getting a paycut.
and someone else is just putting up a front and only barely working and get's a super increment and promotions.
and then you just want to scream.
and let out all that emotions.
then you think.maybe i'm not doing enough, maybe i'm not sufficient...maybe i'm just not as good.just maybe i'm disillusioning.
and then you give up.
sometimes i wish, that someone would see this undiscovered talent in me and blow me up like the way they do on antm.
like show the world that i'm really that good.
and the rest of the world would go, "wow, she's really THAT good."
but that's just jaime and her dreams.
this world is unfair. doing your best won't get you anywhere.
putting up a front will.
and its getting damn bloody unfair.
its like, see jaime go.
and then when i'm barely there they go, "HEY, she's really good."
and then they see her all the way to the end.
and me? i go wayy past the end, and then the reaction is like, "oh,it's her"
that kind of thing.
so i'm neglected?
wow.
see here's the full deal.
i don't want to be popular.
or recognised
or anything.
i just want to be given the credit for what i've done and what i deserve.
at least once in a while...but nooo.
i mean with me, its like "are you sure that's what you want, it's really hard you know?"
and with other people its like,"yeah, that's what you want, aim for the stars and at least you'll touch the clouds, i'm always here to help you."
have you any idea how good they actually are?
any idea how dedicated they are?
HAVE YOU?
you just see this facade.
it's all fake.
this is what i get all the time.
"look she's got real talent, she's really good.wow, we've really got to keep her"
and then when they see the results they'd go, WOW, not bad...if you try harder, you'll do better.
HELLO? JAIME'S STILL HERE! I'M WAY PAST THAT STANDARD ALREADY.HELLO? ANYONE? IF I TRY HARDER I'LL BREAK ALL YOUR RECORDS, TOP ALL THE CHARTS!HELLO?DOES ANYONE SEE ME.*WAVES HANDS FRANTICALLY*
and nobody sees me.
maybe once, and then it's just a shadow.
it really isn't fair.
stop patronising the wrong person.
like they say, beauty is only skin deep.
its the same. what you see is what you get, there ain't nothing behind the facade no more.
its an empty vessel.
they don't try. so therefore what you see is truly what you get.
but noo. everybody chooses to believe that there is soo much beneath a diva like that.
there ain't nothing alright?
i know.
to them its i need to do it or else i'll get killed.
wrong attitude alright.
it should be
i need to do it because i want it, and i want it bad.
oh wells. no point complaining right?
i can't do anything to make others see something.
i've just got to do something within myself.
and i am.
"she's watching over you"
jaime.she's your best bet.
(yes i know,ego. but since nobody wants to dream for me, i'll dream on my own.)
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
