Monday, September 25, 2006
♥ 6:34 PM
I feel bloody sick.
like horrid horrid horrid.
i really can't do it.
if you make me quit, why don't you come and kill me.
i feel so very bad and sad and depressed.
i really don't want to quit.
its like taking away the thing i enjoy most.
my stomach feels so bad...it makes me want to puke.
ROTTEN.
i just want all this to end.
don't let me quit the thing i like ever so much.
don't kill the girl...don't let me be like this.
do you want me to know as much as my mother about god?absoulutely nothing?
or do you want me to be an inactive kid who has a really sucky spiritual life, and having a sing;e sided life?
i know you do.why? cause you are just caught up with your own conveniences and your big headed self.
do you know how much it saddens me when you do this to me?do you?
no, i bet you don't. you are an unfeeling monster who cares about nothing but thyself.why?because you are selfish and prohibit any other ideas that do not come from you and any fun that is not yours.you selfish mean unfeeling monster.
i really like the things we do there.
i really, sincerely do.
but you won't believe me.
some way to put it.
"social group". IT IS NOT.it's a bloody church ministry, do you not understand?
it is recognised the church you know?
there are really nice people there.
many nicer than that in school.
some even nicer than the trackers.
and most definitely nicer than you at home.
why?
i don't know.
you can take away my allowances, but you'll never take away my interests.
but since you are the mean mean mean monster you are, you think doing what makes me happy is a huge mistake that will sacrifice my happiness.then, go ahead.a devil after all.
i'm sorry if that's what you want.
you've made an incision in my heart, which will keep it bleeding.even if it is stiched up, there will still be a scar, and it will never go away,never.
i know if you are reading this you will never let me do anything ever.but i really am greatly saddened.you took away the thing i look forward to every week...what do you expect me to do.say its okay? say i am fine with it?NO WAY. my life sucked....and that was my consolation.you took away the consolation...so what's lieft of my life, is just sucky shit.
i am sorry if that's what you want.and by the way...that would be a really petty attitude to have to hurt me like that just because i don't apologise.
"grinning devil" as quoted from the rainbow bird by vance palmer.
jaime.
kill me won't you.you already killed my heart.
&when will you take me away on a balloon?
